These 23 Things Aren’t Illegal, Actually

Most Americans prefer to stay out of prison if they can help it. Though an arrest in college might not spell the end of your life, adults who find themselves in handcuffs generally face consequences they’d prefer not to, like termination of employment and reputational damage.

While some people can easily commit three felonies a day without realizing it, most people actively avoid behaviors that could lead to criminal charges. We even avoid activities we believe to be illegal but actually aren’t. While refraining from these legal acts may be wise regardless, you might decide, “Hey, I’m going to start doing this now that I know it’s legal.”

Knowledge is power, and we hope you’ll feel the power to engage in these non-criminal behaviors if you decide to. It’s a free country, after all. Just remember, something that’s legal in one state may not be in another.

Denying a Customer Service

Some high-profile cases (including one involving wedding cakes) have contributed to the belief that refusing service qualifies as criminal discrimination. While anti-discrimination laws make refusing service illegal in some circumstances, we can’t broadly state that turning a customer away is a crime.

A business owner can refuse a customer for legitimate reasons, like entering the business without a shirt or being visibly impaired. The criminal violation arises when you deny service to someone in a protected class based on something like race or religion.

Squatting

Squatting is prohibited in many states, but the laws vary substantially from one jurisdiction to the next. You may know from highly publicized news stories that squatters have robust rights and sometimes appear to have greater legal protection than landlords.

The distinction between legal and criminal squatting often lies in how the squatter gained access to the property. If a renter engages in a legal agreement and becomes a squatter due to delinquency, they may not have broken any laws (as they have not technically trespassed).

Using Your Wits to Outsmart a Casino

Certain forms of gambling-specific cheating are criminal offenses. Those who use technology to gain an advantage or engage in organized cheating rings may face jail time (or worse), but it is not illegal to use your God-given talents to make bank at the blackjack table.

Counting cards is a prime example of gaining an advantage legally. Those who can spot a flaw in cards or use their power of observation in other ways are not, in most cases, breaking the law. That said, a casino may ban you if it suspects you are counting cards or outwitting the dealer in other ways.

Ripping the Tag off Your Mattress

It’s a basic human instinct to want to rip tags off things. After all, nobody wants to be that person galavanting around the cocktail party with a tag hanging off their dress or button-down. When it comes to mattresses, though, many Americans think removing the tag will lead to a visit from the SWAT team.

Your tag may even say, “Removing this is illegal.” The truth is that it’s generally only illegal to remove the tag if you have not purchased the mattress. Once you’re the proud owner of that Serta, it’s your right to take that tag off.

Rip the sheets off, and go tear that thing off now!

Marrying a Child

This is easily the most stomach-turning entry on this list, but we must provide the unfettered truth, no matter how unsettling it is.

Approximately 300,000 minors entered into marriages between 2000 and 2018, and thousands more have been wed since 2018. More than half of American states allow 16 and 17-year-olds to marry so long as their parents consent, though several states have made 18 the minimum age to wed.

As of 2023, 10 states still allow sub-16-year-olds to marry with “judicial consent,” while eight states (including California) have no age restrictions. The law may say it’s fine, but don’t expect the general public to give you the go-ahead to marry a teenager or younger.

Viewing Pirated Content

The law leaves no doubt that copying, downloading, and distributing pirated content is against the law. However, those who encounter content in the digital realm only sometimes know whether content has been illegally procured, and the law is less clear on whether merely viewing pirated media is illegal.

As a general rule, you’re not breaking the law if you watch a movie or sporting event, or listen to a song, without downloading the media or doing the pirating yourself. We aren’t endorsing the act, of course, especially because of recent legislation that imposes harsh sanctions on digital buccaneers. However, the law is more nuanced than most Americans assume.

Tax Avoidance

I am a proponent of paying taxes and avoiding the clink, and you should be, too. However, you should also use available legal means to reduce your tax burden where possible, as that is how the world’s most successful people make their hard-earned income work for them.

While tax evasion is a crime, tax avoidance is not. In fact, tax avoidance refers specifically to the “legal methods used by a taxpayer to minimize the amount of income tax owed.” Incorporation, deductions, and abundant loopholes are well within the rules of American tax law.

Turning When the Light Is Red

Most savvy drivers have bumped the horn when a motorist sits idle in the lane, waiting for the light to turn green before turning right. Making a right on red is legal in all 50 states, but you may also be permitted to turn left on red in certain circumstances.

If the light is red but you are turning onto a one-way street, you are typically allowed to do so. In some states, you can also proceed left through the red light if traveling from a one-way street onto a two-way street, though that move is not as universally accepted. If you’re in doubt, it’s smart to just wait for the green.

Underage Drinking

There are states, like Alabama and Michigan, where those under 21 cannot legally drink under any circumstance, though we know it happens. There are many more states, though, where minors can legally drink under certain circumstances.

Those circumstances are typically in private residences with the consent of a parent or guardian. If you were planning to prosecute your parents for that sip of beer they let you try when you were 15, you’re probably out of luck.

Sneaking Snacks Into the Movie

Most of us probably know in our loins that a movie theater cannot initiate criminal charges when they catch us with Twizzlers in our pants. However, bringing outside munchies into a movie theater has always been something of an ethical gray area, and some might even assume it’s a criminal offense.

Movie theaters outlaw the smuggling of third-party snacks, and understandably so. However, no legal statute exposes you to prosecution for hiding Junior Mints in your purse.

You might get patted down, shamed, or even denied service for failing to comply with a theater’s policy. You won’t get arrested, though.

Cops Fibbing

While you have the right to flick off a police officer, that same officer has a right to lie to you. You could argue the latter right carries far more weight.

We like to believe law enforcement officials are among the most honest in our society, but sometimes, it serves their interests to lie. Cops can lie about having evidence of guilt, witnesses who saw you commit a crime, and just about anything else they please.

Any police officer who considers you a friend will tell you the only correct advice: Get a lawyer and remain silent.

Record Someone Against Their Will in a Public Area

Social media has made it abundantly clear that the average American has no clue what recording laws are. I admit I was no legal scholar on the topic (until researching this list, of course). Now, I’m a legal scholar.

It is generally legal to record anything you encounter in a public space, including someone who doesn’t want you recording them. One generally has no right to an expectation of privacy when they go out in the world, and the absence of this expectation renders most public recordings legal.

Firing an Employee Based on Something They Said

The First Amendment is highly respected and protected in the United States, as it should be. However, we should distinguish something that is legal from something that can’t get you fired.

Specific subjects are protected. If an employee espouses religious beliefs in the workplace and is fired as a result, this may be an illegal form of discrimination. However, an employer can terminate an at-will employee for criticizing the company or making other frowned-upon statements.

In fact, at-will employees can be terminated for virtually any reason, so long as the reasoning does not violate anti-discrimination statutes.

Owning a Tiger (Or an Elephant)

Ask Joe Exotic; there is nothing wrong (or illegal) about owning a tiger or any other exotic animal. Well, actually, it depends on which state you reside in, but a handful of states permit ownership of big cats, alligators, elephants, and other non-traditional houseguests.

Some of the most permissive states are Alabama, Nevada, Virginia, North Carolina, and Oklahoma (where the Tiger King saga occurred). Just because the law says you can do it doesn’t mean you should. Don’t forget that.

Putting ‘Poison’ in Food

To be clear, we don’t mean poisoning someone as a regular Joe with a vendetta. That’s illegal. If you are a major food manufacturer, though, there is apparently no prohibition on using ingredients that cause disease and death.

Some known carcinogens and toxins labeled as edible include brominated vegetable oil, Red Dye No. 3, titanium dioxide, and propylparaben. These are only the slam-dunk cases of ingredients bound to kill you eventually.

Do your research when it comes to ingredients because the FDA isn’t going to do it for you.

Driving While Tired

Let’s first establish that driving while tired is dangerous in the extreme. Doing this makes you a liability, and you face a civil penalty if you cause an accident because you drove when you should have been sleeping.

Yet, only Arkansas and New Jersey have laws on the books making tired driving illegal. In the remainder of states, drowsy driving is merely a terrible idea that drastically increases the likelihood you’ll cause a collision (and potentially worse).

Whether you need a nap or a coffee, take measures to avoid the (not illegal) act of driving while tired.

Spanking Your Kid

Parents still have a degree of autonomy in how they raise their kids. If you think your kid’s sarcastic remark or foray into the life of petty theft warrants a firm smack to the backside — or seven — that’s your right. In fact, it’s still legal in 18 states for school personnel to spank kids, and an estimated 70,000 students annually get the nun treatment from their teachers or administrators. America, baby!

Now, spanking the living daylights out of your kid? Assume that’s a crime until you prove otherwise, which you may have to do in a court of criminal law.

Driving With Your Feet Out

Something about driving barefoot feels wrong, but also completely right. Because so many dangerous driving acts are against the law, those who consider barefoot driving to be less safe may assume that it is a criminal violation.

It is legal to drive with your feet exposed from Florida to Washington, Arizona to Maine. Hippies have known this for years, but now you know it too.

Of course, if you think you’re a more effective driver with shoes on, continue to lace up (or slip on) before getting behind the wheel.

Not Having Identification

Conversations around election integrity often involve questions of whether the average American has or can get official identification. While living without a driver’s license or ID card will become impractical quickly, no American is legally bound to get or maintain identification.

For that matter, you’re not compelled by law to show identification to any authority when they stop you. However, controversial legislation signed into law by George W. Bush in 2005 requires you to have a REAL ID card to enter federal facilities or board an aircraft. While not having an ID is not a crime, it is a de facto requirement of living in our country.

Absinthe

Casual drinkers might mistakenly lump absinthe in with moonshine as illegal alcoholic beverages to produce in the United States. While moonshine is indeed prohibited, the green-hued, licorice-flavored spirit known as absinthe is regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

The FDA regulates the thujone levels in absinthe, as excessive levels can be toxic and cause extreme drunkenness. So long as the levels are in check, bartenders are free to serve absinthe (which returned to the United States in 2007).

Not Wearing Clothes Outside Your Home

You’ve probably heard of nudist colonies, but they tend to be removed from polite society and prying eyes. You might also know that those with tall fences or several acres probably tan and swim without the impediment of clothing. Where, though, do we draw the line on one’s own property?

While laws can vary by state and jurisdiction, it is now legal for women to go without a top in Colorado, Wyoming, and four other states. A Florida man drew national news headlines thanks to his habit of mowing and pruning without clothes on, but authorities noted he was within his rights so long as he didn’t engage in lewd behavior.

Marrying Your Hot Cousin

In fact, marrying your ugly cousin might be legal, too, though we’re not sure why you’d want to do that. The dangers of inbreeding are well-documented, but the further you venture out on the branches of your family tree, the lower your risk of slow or seven-fingered children becomes.

Some states might be leaving residents with far too much leeway at the family reunion. While many states ban first-cousin marriage, it is legal in California, New York, Florida, and an alarmingly large handful of other states. We knew the dating pool was rough, but is it that rough?

Owning a Flamethrower

In March 2023, Joe Biden commented, “You’re not allowed to own a flamethrower [in the United States].” That was untrue.

In part because flamethrowers are useful for burning foliage and melting snow, they are legal in most of the United States. Elon Musk even marketed his own brand of flamethrowers (under the guise of destroying weeds).

I don’t care who you are. Can you say you’ve lived unless you’ve owned your own flamethrower?